My future project

Dear readers,

Just a quick one, while I still on fire. I want to announce that I want to try something that I’ve started ages ago during my days as a student in junior high school. At that time I’ve written a story, fiction of course. The story was about a school girl love life, the story wasn’t meant to be pure fiction because all the character in this story basically all my classmate. So..ya.. they were pretty real, but the story of course not.. well some maybe not, because there were definitely some love stories going on in my class at that time.. I’m literally smiling right now reminiscing the fun time that I had in the class. I wrote the story on a book, hand written of course.. no computer back at that days..every once a week I gave my friend who sat next to me the new story, she is my editor plus the one who encouraged me to write religiously. But the irony is I cant even remember her name right now.. SHAME ON ME…!! I’m quite productive back then, but of course I never got the chance to finish it. Not to mention I didn’t remember where I put the book, it went lost and nowhere to be found. How I wish I can read it all over again.. I can’t recalled why I stop writing the story, probably because I was already in my last year at school and too busy preparing myself for the exam and entering the high school of course. Okay so that’s was just the introduction, I keep saying in most of my post that its going to be a quick one, but I guess it was never gonna be as quick as I wanted to be in the first time.

So back to our main objective, which I assume you guys already have the glanced of what my project will be. Yess.. I’m going to write fiction again.. okay.. don’t be to happy about it, because I’m known for my “hangat2 taik ayam” attitude. Yes I’m on fire right now, but fire doesn’t always constantly burning it flames. So.. That is why I’m putting this idea in this blog so it can act as my reminder every time I get lost.

Here I’m going to post several youtube videos.. because I got this idea basically by listening to these song

Thats all folks..

Write to you soon…

Love and peace!


Student daily prayers

Indeed Allah SWT is An-Naassir and As-Samee, The helper and The All-Listening!

Duas Before Studying

اللَّهُمَّ انْفَعْنِي بِمَا عَلَّمْـتَنِي وَ عَلِّمْنِي مَا يَنْفَعُنِي

Allahumma infa’nii bimaa ‘allamtanii wa’allimnii maa yanfa’uunii

Oh Allah! Make useful for me what you have taught me and teach me knowledge that will be useful to me.

Dua while Studying Something Difficult

اللَّهُمَّ لاَ سَهْلاً إِلّاَ مَا جَعَلّتَهٌ سَهْلاً وَأَنّتَ تَجّعَلَ الحَزَنَ إِذَا شِئتَ سَهْلاً

Allâhumma lâ sahla illâ mâ ja‘altahu sahlâ wa anta taj‘alu al-hazana idhâ shi’ta sahlâ.

Oh Allah! Nothing is easy except what You have made easy. If You wish, You can make the difficult easy.

Duas For Increasing Knowledge

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْألُكَ عِلْماً نَافِعاَ وَعَمَلاً صَالِحاً وَحِفْظاً قَوِيّاً وَفَهْماً كَامِلاً وَعَقْلاً سَالِماً بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا اَرْحَمَ ٱلرَّاحِمِينَ

Allāhumma inni asaluka ‘amalan nāfi‘ā Wa ‘amalan swālihā hifzan qawiyyā wa fahman kāmilā wa aqlan sālimā birahmatika yā arhamar rāhimeen

Oh Allah I ask You for beneficial knowledge and good deeds and a strong memory and a perfect understanding and a sound intellect by Your mercy, O the most Merciful of the merciful ones.

And a final one short and easy to remember…

رَبِّ زِدْنِىْ عِلْمًا
Rabbi zidni ilmaa
Oh my Lord, Increase me in knowledge.

Saat titipan diambil

Innalillahi wa innailaihi raji’un.. “We surely belong to Allah and to Him we shall return”

Just a short one today, that I’d like to express my feeling.. I promise I won’t be long..

Just heard the news today that my sister’s father in law has passed away this morning, it suddenness stroked me. I think it’s normal for us to feel that this news weren’t true, am i hearing it right.. Yep denial is our first defence mechanism.. But I know no one would ever make such a joke about other people death.. The truth is  not always happy ending..but it is what it is

The last time I spoke to Bapak was in the hospital when we were waiting for Lila operation. He doesn’t usually talk that much to me, but as far as remember every time we met he always have something to say to me even if it’s only a small chit chat. But this time was different he talked a lot, I can’t say whether it was a “sign” for me or he felt bored and got no one to talk to at that time. He talked about his experience when he visited Thailand, he went to Songkhla and Hatyai and he told me about his experiences visiting northwestern part of Malaysia.. He seems to like travelling very much, he also told me about his time in Bali and said to me that Bali is overrated, nothing special about that island.. and we were laughing after that.

I know that his wife and children must be the one who felt grieve the most as for me I also feel very sorry for them. I was just thinking that there were too many people that close to me had been taken away this year, were this a sign or what.. maybe it has nothing to do with “sign” or whatever beside the Prophet said that there is a lesson to learn on the event of death and maybe their time has come.. and for all of us we just wait until our time up and Allah sends His angel to pick us up.. I just hope that Bapak died in a good way.. That Allah will accepts his good deeds and put Bapak in the best place in the graveyard..

As I always said to those who have departed … “until we meet again.. in sya Allah in Jannah..”

15 May 2016

Where to stand

Have you ever been in the situation where you don’t know where to stand. Should I stand with those in the right or with those in the left or should I just stand in between?

In my 35 years of living I’ve been taught about what is wrong and what is right. But as I’m getting older or mature maybe I’ve started to have doubts about what is wrong and what is right. What is wrong in the eye of human being  might not be wrong in the eye of God. For example; people especially the non-muslim think that Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) was a pedophile just because he married Aisyah R.A who was still 9 years old at that time. When in fact in Islam when women reach their puberty they are in legal age of marriage. Because in Islam when you reach puberty it means that all obligation that a Muslim required to do must be done if you didn’t do it then you have committed sins and your parents were not obligated anymore to carried your sins, unless if they never taught you before.

Look at today phenomenon maybe the recent one is the case of Yuyun a 14 years old girl who brutally raped by 14 boys and left to dead in the bushes. What they did to her was unspeakable. I can’t even phantom how come these boys could do such things, and the worse part they only got 15 years sentences for raping and murder. RAPING and MURDER… 15 years.. even if it 15 years each it still not enough!! and this is because they still considered as under age.. In Islam they are not under age.. they already carried their own sins and their punishment should be the same as the adult. See.. how the human law served no justice at all.

All I can say now that sometime in life you have to choose side you can’t stay in between. And a long the way I only choose side that doesn’t conflict with Al-Qur’an and Hadits..

Everything must be according to the law of Islam.. Allah gave the Qur’an as the guidance and Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) has given the tutorial on how to live according to the book of Allah through his Hadits..

Ya.. you have to choose.. but choose wisely




Altering your body

This morning when I woke up for the second time (yeah I did it a lot), checking on my mobile, looking for news. I stumble upon the article about a women who did a tattoo with cut off technique, damn girl thats gotta be too much pain to bare.

Okay if you’re not familiar with that technique I’ll show you some of the example

Yaah.. more or less the tattoo looks like that. They also called it sacrification tattoo. The point is they cut your skin and draw the pattern, actually cutting is not the only methods. There are many methods can be used to get this scarification tattoo.  Go to this link for more information.

Past few days I’ve been exposing myself with body modification or alteration news. Actually this kind of news were not really new for me. I’ve read it before and up until now I’m still in the state of “awe” thinking what the hell??

Okay I’m not a judge so no judging here, I just want to put a note about how I feel.

First of all I went to google looking for reason why people decided to go to such an extreme way to modified their body, and I found this study. According to study conducted by Wohlrab, Stahl and Kappeler (2007) there are 10 motivational categories that drive them to perform body mods

  1. Beauty, art and fashion
    • For some people tattoo or piercing enhance their appearance or making them more attractive. I do believe that some tattoos were quite beautiful and pretty, if only it permissible in my religion to have tattoo I’d have one. Here are some of tattoos that I found beautiful

      I Like them because its simplicity.. I’m with those who agree with less is more

  2. Individuality
    • Some people like to be different from others, to have their own distinctiveness, thus, the creation of individuality appears to be one of the most important motivations.

      When you’re out on the street looking like that surely you’ll got all the attention.. Waow.. Ada buku berjalan… #IdeNyontek
  3. Personal narratives
    • Life can be rough sometimes, and when you prevail all of your problems it would be a good idea to write it on your body or some events might have a profound impact in someone life and tattoo looks like a good way of memorising it or to remind them that they have passed it and still standing no matter what.
      The tattoo speaks for itself

      A tattoo made when started graduate school

But you have so many to tell your body probably will end up like this old dude here


4.   Physical endurance

Some people just want to test the limit of their endurance, how much pain their body can take. When pain was stimulated the body releasing the endorphins that generating positive emotions in addition to an anaesthetising effect. This effect might be responsible for an occasionally reported ‘lust for pain’.

5.    Group affiliations and commitment

If you want to be accepted in a community or group or be a part of a gang member and having your body inked was one of the requirement like it or not you must have that tattoo carved in your skin.

6.    Resistance

Tattoo was made for reasons such as protest against parents or society. A recent study on college students found that especially in adolescents protest against the generation of the parents is a major aspect in acquiring body modification. So parents.. watch out!

7.    Spirituality and cultural tradition

Some culture or tradition have the rules that acquire their member to have tattoos. Just like the Dayak tribe in Kalimantan or Borneo. Tattoo has become their long tradition from their ancestor.

8.    Addiction

Yep, tattoo does caused addiction due to the release of endorphins associated with the painful penetration of the body, anesthetizing and entailing a positive feeling. From the psychological perspective  for so-called tattoo collectors, it is essential to hold on to their memories, experiences, values or spirituality.

9.    Sexual motivation

Nipple or genital piercing was said to enhance the sexual experience, so they said. Plus tattoo also said to enhance their sexuality.. So.. yah.. that make sense.. Its all about sex

10.  No specific reasons

Probably because their too stoned and got the tattoo without properly thinking.

Sttt… Ntar disambung lagi yaaa… Now I have to get back to my real work..






I feel like I want to write tonight, or maybe I can try to describe something through written language to see whether you readers able to picture it the same way as I see it.

Okay let me describe to you readers about the place where I’m sitting right now.

This room is designated as a study room, box shaped and can hold about 6 to 8 people maximum. It has one big whiteboard covered with glass. I don’t pay much attention to it until I decided to describe it that students who used this board actually wrote on glass. Awesome.. Yeap I’m kampungan like that even hal gak penting kek gini is awesome for me.

Okay, next is the wall. Painted white but it doesn’t look very much white anymore, every corner of this room was smeared with markers  stain. I guess every time the students use the felt-tip marker they’re too lazy to clean their hands using tissue or handkerchief, they chose to smeared to the wall.. walla.. clean hands..If you pay much attention you can see some of the stains have the shape of hand.

Halah.. tetiba malas lanjut.. Nanti lah cerita2 lagi yaa..


I wish I’m not being haunted

Last post was November 2014, it’s been a long time (as it always seems to be). Yeap I know I’m very far from being adhere to writing in this blog.

Every once in a while I do feel like I want to write something, but at the end of the day I wrote none.. It’s just me being in my default state aka procrastinating.

Okay, enough with the introduction.

This time I want to complain about my shoulder pain. I started to feel this pain since yesterday after I woke up. I do have back pain especially in the lower part due to my past history of fall and sometime it gets worse if I sit in the wrong positions for prolong time.

But this time my pain is a little bit different, I never had this kind of pain before. The muscle from your neck to your shoulders got very stiff and it’s getting worse when you tilt your head or move it or rotate it. What a pain…

And this experience remains me of the movie ‘Shutter”

Yap.. I was thinking would it be possible if “something” is sitting on my shoulders right now.. cause I do feel my shoulders slightly heavy than usual.. But I haven’t checked it yet.. I haven’t take any pictures and I haven’t weighed myself either.

But for this to happen I need to review what have I done these last few days.. I surely remember I didn’t kill anybody or hurt anybody in a way that would cost their life.. I didn’t go to haunted places (not that I can think of)… So.. the chances of me being haunted was probably close to zero..

So.. I did the old fashioned way to determine the cause of the pain.. none other than the symptom checker from the WebMd… and I found that I probably suffer from muscle strain.. Maybe because I continuously keeping my head down when I’m using the computer, playing with my iPad or smartphone, that stressed the muscle and leads to the soreness.  It says that the pain would go away in 1-14 days (hopefully it will)

So, that’s it guys my latest update.. I do wish there’s no spirit sitting on my shoulders.. But I think I need to get back to the pool asap.. exercise does help when my muscles were being dormant for too long…