Where to stand

Have you ever been in the situation where you don’t know where to stand. Should I stand with those in the right or with those in the left or should I just stand in between?

In my 35 years of living I’ve been taught about what is wrong and what is right. But as I’m getting older or mature maybe I’ve started to have doubts about what is wrong and what is right. What is wrong in the eye of human being ¬†might not be wrong in the eye of God. For example; people especially the non-muslim think that Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) was a pedophile just because he married Aisyah R.A who was still 9 years old at that time. When in fact in Islam when women reach their puberty they are in legal age of marriage. Because in Islam when you reach puberty it means that all obligation that a Muslim required to do must be done if you didn’t do it then you have committed sins and your parents were not obligated anymore to carried your sins, unless if they never taught you before.

Look at today phenomenon maybe the recent one is the case of Yuyun a 14 years old girl who brutally raped by 14 boys and left to dead in the bushes. What they did to her was unspeakable. I can’t even phantom how come these boys could do such things, and the worse part they only got 15 years sentences for raping and murder. RAPING and MURDER… 15 years.. even if it 15 years each it still not enough!! and this is because they still considered as under age.. In Islam they are not under age.. they already carried their own sins and their punishment should be the same as the adult. See.. how the human law served no justice at all.

All I can say now that sometime in life you have to choose side you can’t stay in between. And a long the way I only choose side that doesn’t conflict with Al-Qur’an and Hadits..

Everything must be according to the law of Islam.. Allah gave the Qur’an as the guidance and Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) has given the tutorial on how to live according to the book of Allah through his Hadits..

Ya.. you have to choose.. but choose wisely





Altering your body

This morning when I woke up for the second time (yeah I did it a lot), checking on my mobile, looking for news. I stumble upon the article about a women who did a tattoo with cut off technique, damn girl thats gotta be too much pain to bare.

Okay if you’re not familiar with that technique I’ll show you some of the example

Yaah.. more or less the tattoo looks like that. They also called it sacrification tattoo. The point is they cut your skin and draw the pattern, actually cutting is not the only methods. There are many methods can be used to get this scarification tattoo.  Go to this link for more information.

Past few days I’ve been exposing myself with body modification or alteration news. Actually this kind of news were not really new for me. I’ve read it before and up until now I’m still in the state of “awe” thinking what the hell??

Okay I’m not a judge so no judging here, I just want to put a note about how I feel.

First of all I went to google looking for reason why people decided to go to such an extreme way to modified their body, and I found this study. According to study conducted by Wohlrab, Stahl and Kappeler (2007) there are 10 motivational categories that drive them to perform body mods

  1. Beauty, art and fashion
    • For some people tattoo or piercing enhance their appearance or making them more attractive. I do believe that some tattoos were quite beautiful and pretty, if only it permissible in my religion to have tattoo I’d have one. Here are some of tattoos that I found beautiful

      I Like them because its simplicity.. I’m with those who agree with less is more

  2. Individuality
    • Some people like to be different from others, to have their own distinctiveness, thus, the creation of individuality appears to be one of the most important motivations.

      When you’re out on the street looking like that surely you’ll got all the attention.. Waow.. Ada buku berjalan… #IdeNyontek
  3. Personal narratives
    • Life can be rough sometimes, and when you prevail all of your problems it would be a good idea to write it on your body or some events might have a profound impact in someone life and tattoo looks like a good way of memorising it or to remind them that they have passed it and still standing no matter what.
      The tattoo speaks for itself

      A tattoo made when started graduate school

But you have so many to tell your body probably will end up like this old dude here


4.   Physical endurance

Some people just want to test the limit of their endurance, how much pain their body can take. When pain was stimulated the body releasing the endorphins that generating positive emotions in addition to an anaesthetising effect. This effect might be responsible for an occasionally reported ‚Äėlust for pain‚Äô.

5.    Group affiliations and commitment

If you want to be accepted in a community or group or be a part of a gang member and having your body inked was one of the requirement like it or not you must have that tattoo carved in your skin.

6.    Resistance

Tattoo was made for reasons such as protest against parents or society. A recent study on college students found that especially in adolescents protest against the generation of the parents is a major aspect in acquiring body modification. So parents.. watch out!

7.    Spirituality and cultural tradition

Some culture or tradition have the rules that acquire their member to have tattoos. Just like the Dayak tribe in Kalimantan or Borneo. Tattoo has become their long tradition from their ancestor.

8.    Addiction

Yep, tattoo does caused addiction due to the release of endorphins associated with the painful penetration of the body, anesthetizing and entailing a positive feeling. From the psychological perspective  for so-called tattoo collectors, it is essential to hold on to their memories, experiences, values or spirituality.

9.    Sexual motivation

Nipple or genital piercing was said to enhance the sexual experience, so they said. Plus tattoo also said to enhance their sexuality.. So.. yah.. that make sense.. Its all about sex

10.  No specific reasons

Probably because their too stoned and got the tattoo without properly thinking.

Sttt… Ntar disambung lagi yaaa… Now I have to get back to my real work..






I feel like I want to write tonight, or maybe I can try to describe something through written language to see whether you readers able to picture it the same way as I see it.

Okay let me describe to you readers about the place where I’m sitting right now.

This room is designated as a study room, box shaped and can hold about 6 to 8 people maximum. It has one big whiteboard covered with glass. I don’t pay much attention to it until I decided to describe it that students who used this board actually wrote on glass. Awesome.. Yeap I’m kampungan like that even hal gak penting kek gini is awesome for me.

Okay, next is the wall. Painted white but it doesn’t look very much white anymore, every corner of this room was smeared with markers ¬†stain. I guess every time the students use the felt-tip marker they’re too lazy to clean their hands using tissue or handkerchief, they chose to smeared to the wall.. walla.. clean hands..If you pay much attention you can see some of the stains have the shape of hand.

Halah.. tetiba malas lanjut.. Nanti lah cerita2 lagi yaa..


I wish I’m not being haunted

Last post was November 2014, it’s been a long time (as it always seems to be). Yeap I know I’m very far from being adhere to writing in this blog.

Every once in a while I do feel like I want to write something, but at the end of the day I wrote none.. It’s just me being in my default state aka procrastinating.

Okay, enough with the introduction.

This time I want to complain about my shoulder pain. I started to feel this pain since yesterday after I woke up. I do have back pain especially in the lower part due to my past history of fall and sometime it gets worse if I sit in the wrong positions for prolong time.

But this time my pain is a little bit different, I never had this kind of pain before. The muscle from your neck to your shoulders got very stiff and it’s getting worse when you tilt your head or move it or rotate it. What¬†a pain…

And this experience remains me of the movie ‘Shutter”

Yap.. I was thinking would it be possible if “something” is sitting on my shoulders right now.. cause I do feel my shoulders slightly heavy than usual.. But I haven’t checked it yet.. I haven’t take any pictures and I haven’t weighed myself either.

But for this to happen I need to review what have I done these last few days.. I surely remember I didn’t kill anybody or hurt anybody in a way that would cost their life.. I didn’t go to¬†haunted places (not that I can think of)… So.. the chances of me being haunted was probably close to zero..

So.. I did the old fashioned way to determine the cause of the pain.. none other than the symptom checker from the WebMd… and I found that I probably suffer from muscle strain.. Maybe because I continuously keeping my head down when I’m using the computer, playing with my iPad or smartphone, that stressed¬†the muscle and leads to the soreness. ¬†It says that the pain would go away in 1-14 days (hopefully it will)

So, that’s it guys my latest update.. I do wish there’s no spirit sitting on my shoulders.. But I think I need to get back to the pool asap.. exercise does help when my muscles were being dormant for too long…


Happy Together

Happy together lyric taken from http://www.metrolyric.com

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it’s only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight, so happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can’t see me loving nobody
But you for all my life
When you’re with me, baby
The skies will be blue for all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you and you for me
So happy together

I can’t see me loving nobody
But you for all my life
When you’re with me, baby
The skies will be blue for all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you and you for me
So happy together

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you and you for me
So happy together
So happy together

How is the weather
So happy together 

We’re happy together
So happy together

So happy together
So happy together
So happy together

This time I’d like to talk about this song. First time I listen to it when I watch the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT), actually it wasn’t my first time.. I’m 100% and positively¬†sure than I’ve listened to it before.. just cant recall when was it.. Michelangelo sung the song to April at the last part of the movie.. and I can’t help not to like it.. especially when Mikey sing it.. Okay.. actually I’m not only going to talk about the song but also the movie. I’ve watched TMNT since I can remember.. they have been my favorite character since I was a little girl.. I know the critics wasnt very kind with their comment for this movie.. but I don’t care.. they’re still my all time favorite heroes.. or vigilante maybe.. hehe..

Donatello used to be my fave one.. because he is the smart one.. but I like Mikey more now.. he’s just so funny.. my favorite part was when he say sorry for April and the other guy who he thought dead after have been thrown away from the cliff.. Cant help myself to burst myself with laughter..

I always thought that Leonardo was their leader.. and I can’t really remember about Raphael’s character.. but in this newest movie I think Raphael was the main character one.. One thing that I don’t actually like but I can still accept it.. is Megan Fox as April.. I think she just can’t let go her character in Transformer.. I always think that Drew Barrymore will be a perfect one.. but of course she’s a little bit too old now.. Chloe Moretz also a good candidate.. eniwei.. Michael bay said that they’ve sealed the deal for the sequel with Fox still in it.. I hope she can improve her April’s character for the sequel..

Alrite then.. definitely can’t wait for the sequel.. I hope they don’t take it too long to make one… hehehe…

Apalah lagi postingan kali ini ya… from Happy together ke TMNT and ke Megan Fox… hehehe…

eniwei.. it’s a warp guys…

Write to you soon…

Being true to yourself

I feel like i want to write something today (as my way to procrastinate on thing that I should have been doing).. Okay without further due lets just kick the ball…

Today I want to write about being true to yourself.. Actually I’ve been wanting to write or making comments about this issue after I watched one of the episode of the “Mistress TV Series” on StarWorld. In this particular episode (couldn’t remember which episode it was) I was stumbled upon Dr. Kim character when she decided to tell the truth even though she knows what the consequences are. She was on the verge of loosing her good name and license as a psychiatrist if she reveal the truth about her whereabouts on the night of Mr. Grey death. Her counselor suggests Dr. Kim to find people who would confirm that she is not alone on that night. First Sam Grey (the son of the deceased) agreed to help her, but he did this only because he was head over heels for Dr. Kim and willing to do anything for her.. Even though Dr. Kim felt reluctant at first but she found herself agree to follow the made up scenario and so does her counselor.. However, things become upside down on the day of the trial when Sam Grey did the opposite by telling her that he was in fact was with her mother.. This came as a shocked to Dr. Kim, later she realized that Sam did this because he felt that she didn’t love him even after they had sex. So, Dr. Kim counselor told her to find another person to do the lie and come up with the idea of why not using Dr. Kim psychiatrist partner as her alibi instead.. Her partner agreed to help her.. When they got to the court and the other psychiatrist already started to make a statement Dr. Kim decided to say the truth… She finally said that she was alone in her home on the night of Mr. Grey death and no one was with her.. Dr. Kim decided that she doesnt other person be that was her friends or her fellow psychiatrist should lie and become her alibi.. and what struck me the most her face of relieve after telling the truth.. and she brave enough to say that the widow of Mr. Grey will never ever feel that relieve because she has been lying the whole time to cover the truth and put the blame on her..¬†

My point here is that lying caused so much effect on our heart.. This effect I called it “guilty” We know that this is wrong but we’re trying to cover it up because we don’t want to taste the bitterness of consequences… For people with consciousnesses guilt will make them miserable and it keeps haunting them until they tell the truth.. I think when we make mistakes we tend to cover it up by lying so others wouldnt know.. By doing that we also lying to ourselves by saying that its okay to lie.. when we know that what we did was wrong..¬† It takes a very brave heart to tell the truth because sometime we have to risk everything and end up with nothing.. But, I personally dont want to live my life in guilt.. Its the most uncomfortable feeling ever… I dont want to live in a shadow… Be true to yourself.. and I hope we all will find the peace in it…¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†




A little reminder for me, for not constantly wasting my time, that I can die anytime, anywhere.. and time that have passed is irreversible. Even a scientist said that there’s possibility to make a time machine that can travel to the future, but it is possible to make a time machine to travel to the past. I just hope that I’ll learn to values time more than i ever did before.. insyaallah.. Semoga bermanfaat
Jika datang pagi maka janganlah menunggu tibanya sore. Pada hari ini engkau hidup, bukan di hari kemarin yang telah berlalu dengan segala kebaikan dan kejelekannya, dan bukan pula hari esok yang belum tentu datang.
Hari ini dengan mataharinya yang menyinarimu, adalah harimu. Umurmu hanya sehari. Karena itu anggaplah rentang kehidupanmu adalah hari ini saja, seakan-akan engkau dilahirkan pada hari ini dan akan mati hari ini juga. Saat itulah engkau hidup, jangan tersangkut dengan gumpalan masa lalu dengan segala keresahan dan kesusahannya, dan jangan pula terikat dengan ketidakpastian-ketidakpastian di masa yang penuh dengan hal-hal yang menakutkan serta gelombang yang sangat mengerikan. Hanya untuk hari ini sajalah seharusnya engkau mencurahkan seluruh perhatian, kepedulian dan kerja keras.
Pada hari ini engkau harus mempersembahkan kualitas shalat yang khusyu’, bacaan Al-Quran yang sarat tadabbur, dzikir yang sepenuh hati, keseimbangan dalam segala hal, keindahan dalam akhlak, kerelaan dengan semua yang Allah berikan, perhatian terhadap keadaan sekitar, perhatian pada jiwa dan raga, serta bersikap sosial terhadap sesama. Hanya untuk hari ini saja, saat mana engkau hidup.
Oleh karena itu, engkau harus benar-benar membagi setiap jamnya. Anggaplah setiap menitnya sebagai hitungan tahun, dan setiap detiknya sebagai hitungan bulan, saat-saat dimana engkau bisa menanam kebaikan dan mempersembahkan sesuatu yang indah. Beristighfarlah atas semua dosa, ingatlah selalu kepada- Nya, bersiap-siaplah untuk sebuah perjalanan nanti, dan nikmatilah hari ini dengan segala kesenangan dan kebahagiaan.  Terimalah rezeki yang engkau dapatkan hari ini dengan penuh keridhaan: suami, anak-anak, tugas-tugas, rumah, ilmu, dan posisimu.
‚Äú‚Ķ..maka berpegangteguhlah dengan apa yang Aku berikan kepadamu dan hendaklah kamu termasuk orang-orang yang bersyukur.‚ÄĚ (QS Al-A’raf: 144)
Jalanilah hidupmu hari ini dengan tanpa kesedihan dan guncangan jiwa, tanpa rasa tidak menerima dan keirian, dan tanpa kedengkian. Satu hal yang harus engkau lakukan adalah menuliskan pada dinding hatimu suatu kalimat (yang juga harus  ditulis di dinding kamarmu):
Oleh karena itu, manfaatkanlah hari ini, setiap detiknya, untuk membangun kepribadian, untuk mengembangkan semua potensi yang ada, dan untuk membersihkan amalan-amalanmu.
Katakanlah: “Hari ini saya akan mengatakan yang baik-baik saja, tidak akan pernah mencela dan meng-ghibah. Hari ini saya akan menertibkan rumah dan kantor, agar tidak semrawut dan berantakan, agar rapi dan teratur. Karena saya hanya hidup untuk hari ini saja maka saya akan memperhatikan kebersihan dan penampilan diri. Juga, gaya hidup, keseimbangan cara berjalan, bertutur dan tindak tanduk.”
Karena saya hanya hidup untuk hari ini saja maka saya akan berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk taat kepada Rabb, melakukan shalat sesempurna mungkin, melakukan shalat-shalat nafilah sebagai bekal untuk diri sendiri, bergelut dengan Al-Qur’an, mengkaji buku-buku yang ada, mencatat hal-hal yang perlu, dan menelaah buku yang bermanfaat.
Saya hidup untuk hari ini saja, karenanya saya akan menanam nilai-nilai keutamaan di dalam hati ini dan mencabut pohon kejahatan berikut ranting-rantingnya yang berduri: takabur, ujub, riya’, dan buruk sangka.
Saya hidup untuk hari ini saja, karenanya saya akan berbuat baik kepada orang lain dan mengulurkan tangan kebaikan kepada mereka: menjenguk yang sakit, mengantarkan jenazah, menunjukkan jalan yang benar bagi yang kebingungan, memberi makan orang kelaparan, menolong orang yang sedang dalam kesulitan, membantu yang lemah atau dizhalimi, mengasihi yang menderita, menghormati yang alim dan sepuh, dan menyayangi anak kecil.
Karena saya hidup untuk hari ini saja maka saya akan hidup untuk mengucapkan, “Wahai masa lalu yang telah berlalu dan selesai, tenggelamlah bersama mataharimu. Aku tidak akan menangisi kepergianmu, dan kamu tidak akan pernah melihatku tercenung sedetikpun untuk mengingatmu. Kamu telah meninggalkan kami semua, pergi dan tak pernah kembali lagi.”
“Wahai masa depan, yang masih berada dalam keghaiban, aku tidak akan pernah bergelut dengan mimpi-mimpi tanpa usaha dan tidak akan pernah menjual diri untuk ilusi tanpa rencana. Aku tidak memburu sesuatu yang belum tentu ada karena esok hari tidak berarti apa-apa, esok hari adalah sesuatu yang belum diciptakan.”
*dikutip dari suatu sumber (maaf, lupa sumbernya…) dengan beberapa perubahan.