Where to start ya.. Sebenarnya berat kali loh… Mungkin ini pembenaran Ya Rabb.. Aku minta maaf, You created me as Your best creation.. Best creation should be better at anything; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Best creation should be stronger than any other creations at any given situations.. Because You have designed us that way.. As Your grand design we should only be weaken at Your will not because we choose to be weak.. But I must admit that I’m weak ya Rabb.. Money has blinded me.. I’m sorry for my excuses.. But, I want to experience winter again ya Rabb..
to be continued…
Have you ever been in the situation where you don’t know where to stand. Should I stand with those in the right or with those in the left or should I just stand in between?
In my 35 years of living I’ve been taught about what is wrong and what is right. But as I’m getting
older or mature maybe I’ve started to have doubts about what is wrong and what is right. What is wrong in the eye of human being might not be wrong in the eye of God. For example; people especially the non-muslim think that Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) was a pedophile just because he married Aisyah R.A who was still 9 years old at that time. When in fact in Islam when women reach their puberty they are in legal age of marriage. Because in Islam when you reach puberty it means that all obligation that a Muslim required to do must be done if you didn’t do it then you have committed sins and your parents were not obligated anymore to carried your sins, unless if they never taught you before.
Look at today phenomenon maybe the recent one is the case of Yuyun a 14 years old girl who brutally raped by 14 boys and left to dead in the bushes. What they did to her was unspeakable. I can’t even phantom how come these boys could do such things, and the worse part they only got 15 years sentences for raping and murder. RAPING and MURDER… 15 years.. even if it 15 years each it still not enough!! and this is because they still considered as under age.. In Islam they are not under age.. they already carried their own sins and their punishment should be the same as the adult. See.. how the human law served no justice at all.
All I can say now that sometime in life you have to choose side you can’t stay in between. And a long the way I only choose side that doesn’t conflict with Al-Qur’an and Hadits..
Everything must be according to the law of Islam.. Allah gave the Qur’an as the guidance and Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) has given the tutorial on how to live according to the book of Allah through his Hadits..
Ya.. you have to choose.. but choose wisely
The story goes like this…
An escort woman, accompany bunch of lousy guys in the karaoke room. There is this one guy who seems to be interested in her, but she went to another old guy instead and trying to seduce the old guy with the intention to arousing the other guy.. and her idea went very well.. He run off to the girl and they did what they wanted to do its BB17 thing. And they fall in love, dating and all the blah2 thing.. until one day the couple went into a fight with a bunch of gang member look a like and ended with the guy accidentally got injured pretty bad and he was sent to the hospital. In the hospital the escort girl realize that he had a wife and dang she was very disappointed and broken-hearted. She found out that the guy is not truly honest with her (well what can you expect from a guy who went to the bar and asking for an escort girl). So, she was very depressed and wanted to kill herself but her friend save her, and they cried together. Until one night she get out from the bar and walking like she has no spine a.k.a oleng2 and boom got hit by a car.. did she died? To be continued…
Next story goes like this..
The man who hit her felt bad about what he did and decided to take good care of her while she's being hospitalized. She cannot walk anymore after the accident, and was undergo rehabilitation program.. So they new guy stands by her as she going through her hardship.. and no need to mention that eventually the new guy falls for her. But, did the girl also feels the same thing? Well, unfortunate for him that she was still deeply in love with the old guy.One day by chance she found out that the old guy was actually in the same hospital as her and pretending not to know her because of her wife was with him.. Because of that she decided to kill herself by jumping off through the window in front of the new guy.. what a great way to say thank you.. And the end..
My days have not been very well lately, I feel down most of the time, Im clueless and worthless.
I’ve tried to look as my usual days, but as days go by I found it become more difficult for me to keep this lies to myself and eventually this “un-me” behavior will radiates to others. As people around me started to notice that something is wrong with me.
I’m very much aware about the reason of me being like this.. I did not blame anyone, and how could I even did that since the root of the problem is within me. I feel like I lost my enthusiasm over anything.. My life has become dull.. No one can save me from this situation other than GOD and myself..
Sometime I feel depressed
Sometime I feel down
Sometime I feel like I wanna go somewhere far, where no one knows me
Sometime I feel like a complete stranger to myself
Geez… I look like a whim…
Anyway.. Im a good actress… All that I said cannot be trusted.. since Im faking it..
Let me tell you a story about what have been happening to me in this few couple of days back.
I’ve been in Hatyai since last Monday, its almost a week. I came back because I need to finish my proposal and not to mention my advisor had posted a comment on my wall asking me about my work. Okay that was quite embarrassing actually, but I don’t take it personal I got the message that she wants to convey that is I should get my ass back to Hatyai.. btw I was in my hometown for my youngest sister wedding and had a great time with my big family and makes me feel like I don’t want to go back.. but the message on my Facebook wake me up.. okay time to get down to business..
Back in Hatyai I didn’t really doing my homework ASAP, I keep procrastinating my work.. it is the blood and does not show the sign that it would go away.. not until I got another message from my advisor demanding me to submit her my work.. Okay the first one is quite an embarrassment but the second one makes me thinking to burry my self in the ground.. Finally i started to work on my proposal and managed to finish the first chapter and gave it to her yesterday..
Actually I considered my self to be very lucky to have a supervisor like her.. she’s such a great supervisor.. If she didn’t do what she has done I might not be able to finished anything.. I thank her for that..
and now here I am typing nonsense in my blog when I supposed to work with my second chapter.. I’m such a lousy brats..
alrite then since I have worn myself I need to get back to my work.. and surely Ill be back for more stories…
Setiap orang punya masalah kan? Its just part of being human.. Going back to school and deal with many assignments and work is not an easy thing to do. I admit that sometime I feel overwhelmed with the assignments, but this is the path that I’ve chosen.. Cannot give up now.
I have problem with discipline, I don’t have a good time management.. And this one of the example of my bad habit, I should read all the material for tomorrow but I’m writing in blog instead.. I’m so wasted..
Pengen curhat tapi gak tau mau curhat apa.. Because I realize the problem is on me and my poor time management.. So what’s the use of telling others about ur problems when u already know the answer..?
Curhat about personal life? Hmm.. What should I tell, that I miss my family but cannot go home and see them.. Everyone has the same problem.. What makes mine different than them..
So.. Why my heart is so gundah gulana?
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
Trying to familiarize myself with posting my blog through my BB, which is quite puzzling for me since I usually write through my laptop..
Don’t understand the command yet.. But this is just the 1st time.. Soon I’ll become the expert.. Hehehe.. But don’t know when it soon.. Could be 20 years from now.. Hahaha..
Alrite write to you again “soon”
Gotta get back to my paper..